Surrendering

Right now I’m dealing with changes to Christmas plans….and I do not like it one little bit!😡

Perhaps you can relate?!!

I’m noticing a pull to still make a booked trip happen: checking the latest COVID guidance and plotting routes; feeling reactive when others suggest leaving it for now.

I do not want to surrender!

Growing up in Northern Ireland in the 70’s, I saw that word written on a lot of walls, always with a ‘NO’ in front of it! I equated it with giving up or giving in. 

Fast forward a few decades…I was 43 years old and near the point of giving up on my journey to become a mum. It felt like we’d tried everything to create our family. We were on the register as prospective adopters and it still wasn’t happening. No match as yet.

My husband and I were having difficult conversations: I wasn’t sure I wanted to keep trying. I was done waiting, with my life on hold. I decided to put my attention on my work.

I booked a CPD workshop that Marianne WIlliamson was giving in London. In case you’re unfamiliar, she is an author, spiritual teacher and activist, who has since also run for nomination as the Democratic presidential candidate. 

While coaching someone on their work, she talked about how pushing for results is a masculine way of being.

The feminine, surrendered place in us is passive. It doesn’t DO anything.

Marianne Williamson, A Return To Love

She said that surrender didn’t mean giving up. It did mean letting go of attachment to the outcome. It meant handing it over a higher power: god, source, the universal unquantifiable energy that has this planet go round and connects all of us, call it what you will.

Could it really be that simple??  Suddenly the thought of giving up the struggle, the years of uber-clean living, supplement plans and hair analysis, personal development, getting our house in order, the lack of advance holiday bookings in case our child showed up, seemed very attractive.

That’s what I did. I said to myself, ‘I’m done trying. If this is meant to be, show me the way.’

I went ahead and started up new coaching groups at work. Started booking holidays.

A few weeks later our social worker contacted us to say there was a little girl they thought would be a good match for us. OMG this surrender malarky works!!💖🤗

Today I find myself attached to making these Christmas flights work. When I give up that attachment, what is possible?

A good cry about not going!😭

And then?

Stepping fully in to the Christmas I laid out in yesterday’s post!

I’m curious, what outcome are you currently attached to? What would be possible if you let go?🤔

Let’s flourish together!

Arlene x

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